Title Picture: www.clipartpal.com (public domain clip art)
Christmas is not much more than a week away now. There are a lot of images stereotypically associated with Christmas: Santa, presents, trees, decades-old commercials. (There’s this one Folgers Coffee commercial that I’ve been seeing since in the early 90s, and was still on TV recently.) You know what a lot of old-school depictions of Christmas also feature? Christmas carolers. You know, those people that just gather and sing Christmas songs. Sometimes they’re just standing around outside, other times they’re showing up at peoples’ doors and singing.
Are these people real? I have never in almost 30 years of living encountered a single Christmas caroler in person. Granted, I haven’t spent much of that time living in stereotypical suburban or small town neighborhoods, with yards and roofs and such. But I did live in neighborhoods here and there, and still I never saw any.
I’m not complaining, mind you. Walking by a group singing in a park is one thing; I doubt that would bother me. I don’t know what I’d do if one December night I answered my door and a bunch of people just started singing at me! I recall a Simpsons episode where Bart and Lisa act as carolers while Homer sneaks into peoples’ houses. The families answering the door just stand there looking down at the kids and smiling. Is that what I’m supposed to do? I can’t do that! I don’t know about you, but such an interaction would be awkward as hell to me.
How do these caroler encounters end? Do they just stop and walk to the next house like robots? I imagine they’d at least say “Merry Christmas,” or something. Do they ask for money afterwards? Would that even be in the spirit of the season? I’m confused. I’d better live in high-rise apartments or the woods for the rest of my life just to be safe.